Hello. I am Troubled Eater's sister and because I have pull with her,
I want to share with the world my distaste for Jello. I understand
that at this point some of you are thinking "Jello? Who hates Jello?"
but I ask you, what is there to really like about Jello? Are you sure
you like Jello?
First of all, the obvious, is Jello jiggles. The Jello company tries
to capitalize on this fact and has a money making campaign for Jello
jigglers. Why do you want to eat something that jiggles? Do you know
what else jiggles? Things that are alive. Like insects. Insects
jiggle, but nobody wants to eat them. I want my food solid.
Unmoving. Constant.
Secondly, the flavor is not appetizing. It doesn't taste like any cherry,
lime or lemon I have ever eaten. I'm sure you have seen them, those
cakes where people drill holes into a perfectly beautiful dessert and
ruin it with puddles of artificial flavor.
Finally, the opportunity for integrating other foods into the jello
truly bothers me. My relationship with Jello ended when I ate green
jello with carrots in it. Later that night I became sick and vomited.
I didn't enjoy the green Jello with carrots the first or second time
in my mouth. Why carrots? Why bananas? Why take solid food and
suspend it in a murky semi-solid substance rumored to be made with cow
bones?
There is so much I don't understand about Jello and those who like it.
I may not be as picky of an eater as my sister, but Jello truly is
disturbing to me and I want to encourage you to reevaluate your
relationship with Jello. It is okay to not like this "food" and you
are not alone.
Thank you for letting me give a voice to those who of us out there who
feel queasy when within a short distance of this sad excuse for a side
dish.
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